Swift Justice

Submitted by Jaeger P.

Our names are Megan, Lauren, Chandler, and Jaeger. Together, the four of us make up the freshman class cabinet at Taylor University. Mosty people know us for the epic events that we put on for our class and our school. What people don't know is that we all have superhero alter egos. When we are not planning events for our freshman class, we are out fighting crime with our superhero abilities. Megan can fly, Lauren can read minds, Chandler has super strength, and Jaeger can shoot lasers out of his eyes. Let all villains beware the swift justice that these student superheroes will bring.

Superpowers

Submitted by Carmen L.

These are my best friends from childhood. We haven't all lived in the same town since 2004 and we haven't had a photo taken of all of us in the same place for almost 7 years. The last one available is our "biggest ass contest" from New Years 2005. Here's a bit about each of us:

Kristen lives in the Yukon and she is a mega-babe geologist who loves nature and speaks German. She is an amazing crafter with a special knack for knitting. Her superpower is her radiant aura that exudes light and warmth wherever she goes.

Lauren T. lives in Ontario and recently got engaged to a really amazing guy. She is a flaming redhead firecracker and she is dead sexy. She is hilarious and has the most incredible sense of humor. Her superpower is an abundant never-ending supply of energy.

Carmen lives in Vancouver and tries to write, draw, make music, run, do yoga, and go to school (sometimes all in the same day). She dances around her apartment a lot and has always liked eating cookies. Her superpower is the ability to shoot lightning out of her hands.

Lauren K. lives in Vancouver approximately 4 blocks down from Carmen She is an aerial silks acrobat, a talented actor, a blogger, and all kinds of lovely. To put it simply and sweetly, she is nifty AND (though she might dispute this) really cool. Her superpower is super strength, as she can do 2 complete chin-ups in a row. 

It would be really incredible to have us all in the same place again. Even if it can't happen in real life, maybe it's a possibility in the realm of crappy portraits.

Bambi and Twiggy

Submitted by Hazel C.

Can you please do a portrait for my best friend's 21st birthday, I want to get her something special and nothing is more special than a free portrait! I call her Bambi (left) and she calls me Twiggy (right). We both love moustaches, and obviously being superheroes. We're both obsessed with baking and playing poker, and ridiculously bad b-list horror films. She is the best person I've ever met. 

Portrait by Jesse F.

Coat Force

We were all drunk and stumbled upon a magical closet full of ridiculous old jackets and mothballs... we thought we were funny.

Comic book industry: pay attention

Submitted by Tom K.

Alyssa, being the worst artist here at Free Crappy Portraits, usually has to explain herself.  When asked what this particularly crappy portrait signified (and there is always the feeling they signify something), she explained matter-of-factly: "They are all giving birth from the thing that gives them power." 

Fellow FCP artist & web designer Sarah K. appears in the photo alongside her Canadian husband.